He is still ashamed and immensely sad, and it seems his feelings are bigger than his ability to act. He knows she has taken all the suffering herself, but he is sure both feel the same way after all.
They don’t know what to do, and if they knew, it would still be too weird to just go with it, wouldn’t it?. “It’s not time” he thinks. He doesn’t know if one or two days will be enough. A few hours? Who knows. The only thing that matters to him now is to try to be the same guy he was for her back then. Back then, a few days ago.
That’s a hard job, he knows. But he’s willing to do it. He promises and swears, but they’re just words. He doesn’t like to talk very much, and that’s something she has known from the beginning. Words are beautiful and they are necessary most of the time, but when it comes to moments like this, they certainly are not as important, or they simply make things worse.
He doesn’t want that. He wants to act. He wants his gestures to be the ones that tell her that he loves her. His silence is not oblivion. It’s acknowledgment.
Forgiveness can only come with time, if it finally comes. In the meantime, he’s still here.
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